Unsteady
by Pisceskat
Summary: AU One Shot: She's always been the strongest, but Angeal can see that even she has her limits. fem!Seph/Angeal.


_Inspired by an image on zerochan dot net and the song "Unsteady" by X Ambassadors. Towards the end "Almost Human" by Voltaire came on... so... yeah._

 _Disclaimer: I don't own any of this!_

 _To my readers: I know I should be working on Kunoichi Kiss, but I had this thought bubble that wouldn't pop... and if Seph seems OOC, developing ovaries can do that to a person..._

* * *

 **Unsteady**

by Pisceskat

 ** _C_ _old_** , sterile walls, the color of clinical detachment, were all that surrounded her when finally her eyes opened. The feel of the hard metal table against her back was a solid reminder that she was in the care of Professor Hojo. To her left, she saw a line of syringes, half of them empty of whatever they had held. To her right, lay a metal tray holding bloodied bandages, scalpel, tweezers, and a hunk of crushed metal the size of her faith in humanity. In other words, three inches by one inch round. It looked suspiciously like cage bar. All it took was the residual ache in her shoulder to jar the haze of powerful anesthetics from her memory.

She'd managed to travel all the way from Wutai to the 68th Floor of the Shinra building with shrapnel lodged in her shoulder, with none the wiser. By the time she'd laid down on the table, the skin had healed over perfectly, and only the slight redness of irritation and a sizable knot indicated that anything was wrong. In fact, she'd wandered around the building for a whole three hours upon arrival, stalling her visit to the "medical" lab.

"Ah, so the subject finally awakens!" Hojo's sadistically high-pitched voice droned from somewhere behind her head. She sat up, slow and steady, swinging her legs off the table, careful not to snag her long silver hair on the restraints. Despite the ache, she squared her shoulders and searched for her sword.

"Are we done here?" she asked, regarding the scientist with a cool gaze. One thing that she had long since learned over her years in and out of the labs was to never let the man see her affected, in any way. It always led to further testing.

Sliding his round metal frames further up his nose, causing the fluorescent lighting to glare off the lenses, he nodded. "Indeed, my pet. You have healed most superbly." He chuckled. "But do be more careful next time. You may be my greatest achievement, and I'd hate to see that achievement ruined by..." He consulted the mission report added to his clipboard. "'Mass explosions of captive Bombs, resulting in high-velocity shrapnel'," he read.

She spotted Masamune, lifted it from the rack and attached it to her hip. "The situation is unlikely to be repeated." In fact, the fools who had the gall to try such a stunt had been caught in the explosion. The Wutai rebels had suffered more collateral damage than the Shinra forces, by far.

"Hrmph." Hojo made a dismissive sound. "In any case, your yearly check-up is scheduled for next Tuesday. Clear your schedule."

"Mm," was her only reply, as she made her exit from Hojo's domain, practicing the calm composure that had gotten her this far.

Medical green gave way to pristine white, and she soon found herself on the elevator headed back to the SOLDIER floor of the Shinra building. Once she was safely ensconced inside the elevator, she pressed the 49th Button and leaned against the wall with a heavy exhale. Yearly checkups were never pleasant, and this year was sure to be doubly so, as this one fell on her 18th birthday. Ever since she could remember, her birthday was always marked by shots, blood samples, pokes, prods, and new injections. The only presents she ever received were swords, new armors to fit, materia... Not that she minded. She wouldn't have known what to do with dolls, or makeup, or flowers, or whatever else girls normally received for their birthdays. Though the subject of her birth always set her mind to wondering how her life would have been if her mother had lived. She had no clue of that, however. It was hard to imagine when one only had a name to go by. _Jenova_...

The elevator dinged, and she stood tall. _Never let them see you vulnerable,_ she reminded herself. As a general rule, she only had one side to show: Sephirah, General of SOLDIER, First Class. To some, the Ice Queen.

She could live with that.

As it was, the Second and Third classes gave her a wide berth as she made her way to the training rooms. Several of them saluted her as she passed. At one time, it had been embarrassing, a way for her fellow SOLDIERs to mock her. She had been ten at the time but ignored them with the same cool regard that she had learned to ignore the rest of the science department. Then, at 12 years old, she had been hailed a War Hero. The little stick of a girl unleashed on the shores of Wutai. Hojo's little Project. She herself, wasn't sure where she ended, and the Mako in her system began. It sometimes still surprised her that she didn't' bleed green. Regardless, she'd shown them just how powerful a slip of a girl could be. No one questioned when she was given the rank of SOLDIER First Class after that. She was one of only three.

And there were the other two, blocking her entrance into the training room.

"How did I know that I'd be seeing you here, directly after getting a notification that you were awake?" The raven-haired First asked with a smirk, one fist on his hip.

" _Infinite in mystery is the Gift of the Goddess_ ," quoted her auburn-haired rival.

"Angeal, Genesis," she greeted. "So, am I to take it that you are keeping tabs on me now?"

"Always, my dear!" Genesis replied, stepping aside and waving his hands towards the door. "Ladies first."

She smirked. "Then by all means, after you," she countered. Angeal chuckled.

"Ah, and the arrow has left the bow of the Goddess..." Genesis replied, grasping his heart dramatically.

Sephirah shook her head and entered the training room. "Play out here, if you like, but I'd like to get started." She walked over to the control panel and looked through her options. Fort Condor? Wutai? No, not that one. She was tired of seeing Wutai for the time being. Junon? That one could be an interesting change of pace.

The door sealed shut and she couldn't help but be aware of the sudden shadow behind her. "So, how was Wutai?" Angeal asked, sounding as if he already knew. He probably already did, and just wanted to hear it from her personally. She entered a command, and the room turned into a replica of the cliffs surrounding Cosmo Canyon at dusk.

"Fine," she answered shortly, readying the six-foot odachi for battle.

"Uh, huh," The raven haired First replied. "All right, let's see it," he commanded, reaching for the shoulder of her overcoat.

She pushed him away and held the Masamune between the two of them, reiterating with more finality. "I said, 'It's Fine'."

Genesis also drew his sword, favoring her with a fencer's salute before slicing the air dramatically. "Well, let us dispense with the pleasantries, then, yes?"

With a smirk, the silverette stepped away from Angeal. "Indeed."

Angeal didn't share their eagerness, however. "Seph, don't take Genesis lightly."

She scoffed. "It is he who shouldn't be taking me lightly." And with that, she charged.

Angeal crossed his arms, content to watch the first portion of the spar, examining stances, their faces when blade met blade, ever ready for if and when things got out of hand. It never failed, that one or the other would take the fight to the next level, bitterly eager to outmatch the other. He supposed there was some irony in it, though, that despite Genesis actually being the oldest of them, Angeal had taken on the 'mother hen' roll. He'd had to.

On their first meeting, five years ago, Genesis had taken an immediate dislike to the surprisingly gifted darling of the SOLDIER program. At first glance, it had appeared to him that the girl had been given everything. Genesis, a mayor's son, was instantly envious of the attention the silver-haired girl received and had challenged her to a duel. The then-thirteen-year-old, already a hero in Shinra's eyes, coolly accepted, and from that battle on, Genesis never doubted Sephirah's strength. She became a goal to overcome. Most times they would fight to a draw, ending in Angeal stepping in to mitigate the damage, usually after the redhead lost his cool. And that was how Sephirah gained her first and only friends.

Both Sephirah and Genesis were lithe fighters, flowing around each other like opposing eddies. To the normal eye, it would have been difficult to track their movements, but Angeal had lots of practice. His attention was currently focused on Sephirah, though. He'd heard about the explosion from some of the Seconds who had come back with her. According to them, she had been just fine, cutting through the explosion as if it had been cheese instead of flaming debris and saving several members of their forces from harm in the processes. The only indication of any injury was the fact that she had willingly gone to Hojo after returning. Granted, that was after she had checked her messages, cleaned her office, fed the cat she thought no one knew about, and stared at the walls for a half an hour.

Had he not had that knowledge beforehand, he might have missed how her left-hand actions seemed slowed ever so slightly. Against a regular foe, it wouldn't have mattered much, but against Genesis, it was potentially hazardous.

And it was obvious that Genesis was taking advantage of it. Whether he was aware of the injury or not, the crimson-coated SOLDIER saw an opening and took it. Sephirah's resolve was solid as she defended from Genesis's attacks, waiting for the right moment to counter, but Angeal could tell that she wasn't going to be fast enough. Genesis was focusing on attacks from the left, sending his silver-haired counterpart into a defensive stance. It was looking likely, that she was going to lose. The only question was how badly, and would she be injured further by the end of it?

Deciding to step in, Angeal drew his broadsword, catching Genesis's next attack. "This spar is over," he said.

"Angeal!" the redhead growled angrily.

Sephirah took the opening to draw him into their conflict. He barely dodged the swing, and in the moment that he was distracted by her, Genesis broke the "no-materia" rule, launching a volley at Sephirah. Normally, she would have easily neutralized them all. This time, however, one struck home, scorching the left shoulder of her black coat.

She did not scream, but the barely audible grunt as she fell to one knee was enough for Angeal to know that she was done. "Enough!" Angeal reiterated, meeting Genesis's blade with his own. "She's hurt."

Behind him, Sephirah regained her feet and rolled her shoulder. "It's nothing."

Angeal frowned at her, lowering his sword as Genesis lowered his. "Don't give me that," he replied to her, closing the distance. "You lost. Now let me see," he demanded, albeit a bit softer this time.

She glared at him for a moment. "Fine," she relented. "Better you than Hojo, I suppose." She unlatched the silver pauldron and let it fall to the floor, then removed her coat. The simple black v-kneck that she wore underneath it slid easily off her shoulder to reveal the bandages underneath. A few drops of blood had seeped through the bandage.

Angeal cursed and fetched the first aid kit, while Genesis carefully examined the wound. "You were injured?" He looked up at Angeal. "You knew?"

The stoic SOLDIER laid out the first aid kit. "I suspected."

"Damn it," was Genesis's answer, before he leveled a glare at Sephirah. " _My friend, the fates are cruel_. I expect a rematch. I'll be damned if I let my first victory against you be because of a handicap." With that, he sheathed his red blade and left the training room in an indignant huff.

"Are you sure he's the oldest?" Sephirah asked while Angeal removed the bandage.

"Mhm," he replied. "You've pulled a few stitches." He sprayed the antiseptic on it and took out the low-grade cure materia. "So, what's bothering you?"

"What makes you think something is bothering me?" she countered while the pale green glow of the cure seeped into her shoulder.

He replaced the bandage and tapped it in place. "Because you know better than to fight with an injury. You could have waited at least another three hours and then been fine for action. But you didn't. What's wrong?"

She leveled her green gaze at him and wondered if she was truly that transparent. No, it was probably just Angeal being Angeal. His navy blues always saw more than most, and he probably knew her better than any other person alive.

Shaking her head, she turned her gaze to the ceiling. "I don't know." She shook her head. "No, that's not it." She knelt down and picked up her jacket, slipping it back on, then replaced her pauldron. And then she started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Angeal called after her.

"Out," she replied nonchalantly. "Feel free to join me, if you like," she called out behind her as the training room door slid open and she vanished through it.

* * *

The view of Midgar from the roof of the Shinra building was a singular one afforded only to those with top-level clearance. It was the only place in Midgar where the stars were somewhat visible, and it literally gave the feeling of being on top of the world. In some cases, that was actually pretty accurate. To Sephirah, it gave the illusion of freedom. Missions were her life. She loved the traveling, if not the missions themselves at times. But here... here she could come and no one could bother her. There were no scientists, no directors, no fan clubs. This was probably the one place where she could go and drop all the titles she held and just be. This was Her place. Who else would be brave enough to face the precipice of disaster with her? Insane enough to share in the simple joy she felt when kicking her legs against the side of the building from seventy plus stories high?

The simple answer was Angeal. She wasn't entirely sure what led her to share this spot with him. It was probably just the simple desire to talk without fear of being overheard or recorded, but letting him follow her was like inviting him into her very own mind. This place was private to her. As usual, she had turned off and left her PHS in her room. having no desire to talk to anyone else, anyway, not even Genesis. Though there was no doubt that he'd have just the right quote for the situation, she did not feel like sitting through a recitation of Loveless. Angeal, however... Angeal understood people. Of the three of them, he seemed like the only expert on the human condition. She was interested in what he thought.

For now, they sat in silence. The view was one to enjoy, but it was also a great place to think. To contemplate. Midgar below them was alive with lights flickering like a sea of stars, awash in the glow of the mako reactors. It was truly a city that never slept. From here, she felt like a god, contemplating the meaning of all the lives beneath her. It was a scary thought and one that she'd had all too often. She had to keep herself in check, remind herself of humility, lest she be lost in the hubris that her strength afforded her. But there was one thought that always stayed in the back of her mind. _I'm not like them_.

"Am I... a monster?" she said, almost too low for Angeal to hear.

He looked at her and saw the city lights below shining in her eyes as she stared down at them. "Of course not," he answered, without hesitation. He studied her, the thoughtful expression on her face, the slight worry in her eyes. He knew that she had an affinity for heights, but to see her sitting on the edge of the roof, her long hair trailing in the wind, he imagined that she could fly away at any moment. "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged, tucking one of the wayward strands behind her ear. "Its just something that I've been thinking about lately." With her elbows on her knees, she folded her hands and rested her chin on them, continuing thoughtfully. "What is it like to have a mother?"

The sudden change in topic took him by surprise, but then he remembered she was an orphan. It was possible the two questions might even be related, seeing as where she'd grown up. Sitting next to her on the edge of the roof, he leaned back on his hands and decided to answer her truthfully. "It's... nice. She's always been there for me, and Genesis when he visited. She's a great cook, makes the best dumbapple pies..." He looked at her. "She can also be... pretty intimidating, too."

Sephirah chuckled. It was a quiet sound, but one that he wouldn't have minded hearing more of. Sephirah was not necessarily known for her sense of humor. "I should like to meet her one day."

The idea of introducing the Mighty Sephirah to his mother was enough to bring a smile to his face. He knew exactly how his mother would act: just as she would if Sephirah was any other girl her son brought home, regardless of rank. The real question was how Sephirah would react to his mother. "Maybe you will if you ever find yourself in Banora."

She nodded and continued her thought, confirming the connection. "I've never had parents. I grew up in Hojo's lab, but I am under no delusions of familial relation there. I'm a pet to him at most, and a lab experiment at least. His 'crowning achievement'." That last sounded bitter, and not at all like a good thing.

Angeal arched an eyebrow. "Do you want him to treat you like a daughter?"

The look of horror on her face as she turned to face him was priceless. "Gods, no!" she replied. "If that man was my father, I'd throw myself from this building," she added, waving a hand at the vast openness ahead of her demonstrably. She shook her head. "But no, that's not it." She made a fist and held it in front of her as if it held some secret. "You didn't know me before SOLDIER. Even as a child, I was strong. So much stronger than other children." She relaxed the hand and let it fall to her side, the ghosts of her past seeming to dance in her eyes before she shook them away and looked at her friend. "And it wasn't just that. SOLDIER is all I know, and war is my life. How many children go to war at 12 and return a hero?" With a shrug, she leaned back on her arms and stared up at the empty sky. "This last battle in Wutai, I saw a whole detachment leveled by shrapnel and all I could think was how foolish they had been. I've lost count of the number of people who have fallen at my blade, and I feel no remorse..."

Angeal didn't know how to answer. He was no more innocent than she was, but he had long since come to the conclusion that war was war. As long as he upheld his honor, then he'd be fine. He had something to work towards, something to protect. "What about the men under your command? What happened to them?"

She looked up at him, a slight confusion furrowing her brow. "Well, I protected them. Minimized the injuries." She stated it as if that was the obvious conclusion and that there was no other way it could have gone.

"So," he continued philosophically, "had you been unable to protect them, had they been killed while under your command, what then?"

She contemplated the question for a moment and then asked for clarification. "Is this assuming that it was within my power to save them, or as a simply unavoidable casualty of war?"

"Either."

"Well..." she reflected, "had it been unavoidable, I would have felt little more than disappointment, but if it had been within my power to prevent it... I would regret the loss due to my failure."

"So, perhaps that, added to the fact that you are upset about not being upset about the loss of enemy life, is proof enough that you are human. I'm pretty sure a monster wouldn't have cared about either side," he reasoned.

She shook her head. "I don't know what it means to be human," she said glumly. "Just a SOLDIER." She stood and slipped off her jacket, placing it away from the edge. With her jacket and shoulder guards removed, she enjoyed the feel of the wind as it billowed through her hair. Angeal watched her in silence, partly because he was choosing his words, but mostly because he had never seen this side of her before. How had he missed it? All this time as her friend, and he had missed that there was a woman underneath it all. A woman who had never really been a girl, at that. The v-neck that she wore was loose at the shoulders and slipped to reveal the bandage that he had placed there. She touched it gingerly, then removed the gauze, revealing perfectly healed skin. Not even a scar. "Remorse, pain... they aren't normal for me," she said, turning her back to the wind and the sheer drop behind her. "Sometimes I think that I just want to feel something _normal_."

"Define _normal,_ " Angeal teased, looking up at her.

She gave him a half-smile. "I don't know. What would a regular woman be feeling right now?" As she asked that, she held out her arms and looked for all the world as if she was about to fall back into the wind. It made him slightly nervous, but he trusted her not to do anything too crazy.

"How do _you_ feel right now?" He asked.

"I'm not normal," she shot back. "We've been over this."

He chuckled, turning fully towards her and resting his arm on his knee. "Indulge me."

She smirked and shook her head, closing her eyes. "Comfortable. Relaxed." A buffet of wind caused her to rock on her heels. "Slightly cold," she added with a grin.

"Ah, slightly cold..." he repeated. He stood up, aware that she was now watching him. He picked up her black coat, leaving the shoulder guards behind, and pulled her from the edge, laying it across her shoulders. He remained in front of her, holding the edges of her coat. "How about now?"

"Slightly confused, wary, warmer." The way her eyebrow arched was attractive, he decided.

 _Gen might hate me for this_ , he thought, but curiosity was in full bloom. "Care to engage in a little experiment?" he asked.

"What sort of experiment?" she asked warily.

"To test 'normal'," he answered. "Right now, you aren't a SOLDIER. Just a pretty woman on a roof."

She raised the other eyebrow but shrugged in her jacket. "Sounds... interesting. Impossible, but interesting."

Now that he had permission, more or less, he wrapped an arm around her waist and angled her face towards his with a finger. "How do you feel about this?" he asked, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice. Never had he ever thought that the All Mighty Seph could _blush_.

She studied his face and tried to control her pulse. Amusement fueled by mako glowed in Angeal's blue eyes. After five years of friendship, she'd never looked this closely at him before. He'd been a co-worker, then a comrade, then a friend, but she'd never really _looked_ at him. She was tall, but he was a few inches taller than her. Over the past year, he'd started to experiment with facial hair and currently sported a goatee. It suited his face. She had never been one for touch before, usually preferring to be left alone, but this was... new. "Out of my comfort zone, but intrigued. And much warmer," she replied evenly. "Elevated pulse, slightly light-headed." She then licked her lips and asked, "Is this how I'm supposed to feel?"

He grinned "So far you seem pretty normal to me," he answered, examining the curves of her face and the reflection of light in her emerald eyes.

"I... think I like this experiment," she answered. She was not naive. Physical intimacy was not an area that she had any experience in, but even she knew where this was going, and the anticipation caused her heart to race.

She was not alone in the feeling, either. "Is that so..." Angeal replied softly, then leaned forward the rest of the way, meeting his lips with hers. He drank in the scent of her; a rich floral with underlying spice. It was the smell of her shampoo, a special blend that she had discovered in Wutai. He remembered her discussing it with Genesis at one point in time. It suited her spectacularly.

Her lips were soft and giving, and he was only slightly shocked when she deepened the kiss. Any and all thoughts of Genesis vanished from his mind as he turned all his attention to the other person he called "friend". She always had been a fast learner... His hand wandered from her chin to the nap of her hair, playing with the silver strands that fell down her back, trapped by the coat around her shoulders. It was soft and warm. Whoever had first called her "Ice Queen" had been sorely misinformed... Her hands rested on his chest lightly before gripping the shoulder straps of his suspenders. His hand shifted from her neck to her collarbone.

"So," he said with a heavy exhale, "Have I convinced you of your humanity yet?"

Her lips curled up into a sly smile as she slowly opened her eyes to look into his. "One thing I've learned while growing up around scientists is that every experiment needs to be repeated to be validated."

He liked the sound of that.

* * *

...

 _Hojo: No subject of mine is going to date any failure of Hollander's!_

 _Sephirah: **Pulls Masamune** Don't screw this up for me, Hojo!_

...

Or something like that. :)


End file.
